Tell me I’m not the only one…

September 17, 2016

in Fitness, Just life, Training

Ever have something you KNOW you have to do…you’re not really looking forward to it but you’re not opposed to it either? It’s just something you have to do? Am I making any sense here? Hang on, let me take another sip from my caramel macchiato from The Bean.












Mmmmm okay.


So I’ve been beating myself up this morning but I need to get over it. Because really – – what’s done is done (or NOT done) and you can only move forward.

I had a 12 mile run scheduled for this morning. (You already can see where this is going, can’t you?) I had a buddy lined up to meet me at 6:30. I was up and at ’em at 5:40 and while I didn’t feel overly tired, this week I’ve kind of gotten used to the feeling. It’s been a long week of early wake-ups and lots of miles. I noticed it didn’t seem to have rained yet, and they were calling for rain just past midnight in the early morning hours. I checked my weather app at 6:15 and my heart sank.

This was approaching:











If you aren’t local to me, just know that this green blob of rain would be reaching me in about 15 minutes. Right when we were supposed to start our run. Ugh.

I texted my friend because she was doing this for me. I have few friends that I can text and ask for something – like meeting me at 6:30 on a Saturday morning to provide companionship for a run – and they will do it. Emily is one of those :) But sometimes running in the rain can be pretty miserable. And for me, it’s one thing if you’re already in the middle of a run and the rain starts versus getting started in the rain. Especially if you aren’t training for something and are just helping your friend. So I wanted to give her the option and I told her that I still have Sunday to get it in. We agreed to call it off.

I could have done a few things here.

I could have gone out on my own, been brave and tough and just sucked it up. That’s probably what I *should* have done because as one of my running pals mentioned when I lamented on Facebook this morning about the pending rain, you need to run in all kinds of conditions to prepare yourself for whatever race day throws at you. womp

I could have (and this is what I planned on after looking at the futurecast for the weather) waited an hour for the rain to pass, gone out solo and gotten as many miles in as I could in the time I had.

Here’s what I ended up doing and have beaten myself up about:

I sat down in hubby’s recliner (still in my running clothes and shoes) and set my alarm for 7:30 and turned on the TV, prepared to just watch whatever and maybe snooze for a bit while the rain did its thing. I. Zonked. Out. Hard.

The alarm went off at 7:30 and I woke up, shut it off, and was going to get up in a minute. I closed my eyes for a second, woke up, and it was 8:08. I felt several things at once: panic, slight anger, and apathy. I panicked that I had closed my eyes for a second that turned into 38 minutes. I was angry at myself for doing that, because my plan was to get up at 7:30 and drive west where the rain would be done sooner, and get my miles in. There was no way I could start this late and get 12 – or even 10 – miles in and be done by 10:00 when I had to be in the shower. But then I just didn’t care because I was just. so. tired. I re-set my alarm and went back to sleep. I still have Sunday available to run, and while that isn’t my ideal situation because I’m headed to Buffalo tonight for a concert, it’s the way things will have to happen.

I beat myself up for a while, especially when I looked at my Facebook comments and saw Ginny’s reminder that you need to run in anything to prepare yourself for possible race day conditions. Ugh! ‘Why can’t I have some self-discipline?’ I thought.

I went back and forth in my head between scolding and reassuring myself, as I showered and prepared to get to my 11 a.m.volunteer shift in North East. Finally I settled on assuring myself that it was okay. I wasn’t a total failure. And really, at this point, it didn’t matter because what was done – or NOT done – was in the past already.

For me to be up and ready to go, sit down and crash within a few minutes….I think that meant I needed more rest. I didn’t skip any training runs this week, and was up at 5 a.m. all week with about 7 to 7.5 hours of sleep each night. Later in the week I became more tired as I ran 7 miles Wednesday evening, ran another 4 Thursday morning, worked the day job and waitressed that night. I waitressed again Friday night, and by this morning I was just feeling pretty drained.

So it’s over and done. I’ll get the run in tomorrow because I have to. Today would have been ideal to get it out of the way, but I’ll deal with the consequences.

You can’t change the past, you can’t undo things you’ve done. You don’t change the goal, you just adjust your plan for achieving it.


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